When our Alaskan Governor was thrown into the national spotlight as Senator John McCain’s Vice-Presidential running mate, Alaska was also thrust into the news. I watched the television media smiling to myself at the excitement people have about our state and laughing at how they described it. One announcer actually stated that the local McDonald’s features moose-burgers. Sorry, but that’s not quite accurate. Although I will say that if Micky D’s did start carrying moose-burgers, I’d probably become a regular customer. There is a fascination with Alaska that feeds the popularity of shows like the Discovery Channel’s “Deadliest Catch,” and The History Channel’s “Tougher in Alaska.” Every Alaskan I know loves to have family come visit, because ‘Outsiders’ remind us about our unique state and some of the weird stuff that happens every day that we just consider a part of the Alaskan experience.
When my sister came to visit a few years ago, I took her all over the state to see the various tourist attractions. But when I went to visit her afterwards and looked through her scrapbook of her Alaskan trip, I was shocked at what she highlighted about her vacation. Yes, there were a few photos of aqua-green glacier ice and moose crossing the highway, but the main feature was a front page article she clipped from the newspaper discussing the ban on rat roulette at the state fair. (For years the Alaska state fair hass featured betting on a modified roulette wheel with a live rat racing around the wheel and then diving into one of the numbered holes for a treat. Due to some sort of regulatory issue with gambling, the game was in danger of being axed from the program and Alaskans were quite upset) Now I admit, four pages of coverage in the Sunday paper may be a little overkill, but it really had been a very popular event.
Every one of our relatives that has come to visit us in Alaska, seems to leave with a different perspective than before they came. My Father-in-law was floored by the prices we pay for fresh produce. He couldn’t believe that I would actually pay thirteen bucks for a small watermelon. Or that I would spend the same amount on a steak as I would a tiny bunch of grapes. My Brother-in-law Rob found the names of our businesses very funny. He especially loved one bar called, “Skinny Dick’s Halfway Inn.” I kept explaining that it was named that because the bar is halfway between the city of Fox and Fairbanks, but I don’t think he heard me. He was laughing too hard. He also loved the fact that a Hazelnut Butter rum latte is called an “Exxon Valdez” after Captain Joe Hazelwood and his affinity for rum. What can I say; we Alaskans have a sick sense of humor.
When my Dad came to visit for the first time, Burke and I were living in Fairbanks. As a young couple struggling to finish school and also working forty hour weeks, we lived in a tiny efficiency apartment that was really a converted army trailer. But we had a clean comfy couch and my Dad was very gracious about the accommodations. On the first night of his stay, we decided to drive into town for dinner, but my Dad asked if he could take a shower first.
“No problem, Dad. The hot water dial is on the right and there are clean towels under the sink. Enjoy your shower and I’ll call and make reservations.”
My dad returned a couple minutes later looking concerned. “Um….Jan, there is something in the shower.”
“Oh! That’s right! I forgot to mention that. Burke went up the road earlier this week and shot a caribou. But it was frozen solid by the time he returned, so we had to hang it and let the meat thaw out. We don’t have a heated garage, so the shower was the only place to hang it. Burke says it will take a good four or five days for that sucker to thaw out.”
“Oh. So you don’t have a shower then for a few days – no problem, I can—“
“Dad, you can still shower. That’s why we hung it on the far end of the bath tub. Just climb in near the faucets and there should be plenty of room. But please be careful not to get any soap on the caribou. It will make the meat taste funny.”
My dad didn’t look thrilled about bathing with a caribou carcass, but I think he was nervous about insulting our hospitality so he climbed into the tub and showered. I did notice though that he didn’t have much of an appetite at dinner. Must have been that long flight, it will do that to you.
So if you are planning a trip to The Last Frontier in the near future, you can buy those tourist books and visit the websites. You will even leave with pretty photos of whales and puffins. But I’m willing to bet that when you return home, it will be the oddities that you remember from your trip and highlight in your scrapbook. Like the Moose Dropping Festival in Talkeetna where an entire weekend is spent celebrating moose turds. Or the Valdez snow-bank drive-in where a movie is projected onto a giant snow-bank and the audio is broadcast over the radio for an authentic drive-in movie theater experience. Or perhaps even a weekend of winnings from the “Rat Race” at the Alaska State Fair. If you really win big, they let you have your picture taken with the rat. Now that’s something to put in a scrapbook!
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